两人英语搞笑对话？经典对话一：男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。)经典对话二：男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？那么，两人英语搞笑对话？一起来了解一下吧。
1A:How do you spell “pig"。你怎么拼写pig
B:P-I-G. P-I-G.
A:What?P-U-G?什么？P-U-G?
B:No,P-I-G.I.不是的， P-I-G. 是'I'
A:U.? U?
B:I.I (字母I，也有“我”的意思)
A:Yes,you!pig. 是呀，我是说“你”嘛，猪！
2一美国老外帮助了一个小朋友后：
小朋友说： Thank you .
老外：Thank you ,too.
小朋友; Thank youthree.
老外： What are you thanking for ?
小朋友：Thank you five .
老外当场晕倒！
3Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
1.For the students to a teacher comments.
"Teacher, you……" class, a beauty Yuyanyouzhi.
"I how the�0�0 "teacher quickly set the tone," What are the advantages I have, speak. "
This, more hesitant to beauty.
Teachers continue to inspire: "say ah, Biepa, I Ting Dezhu!"
I do not know from which corner of the classroom out: "We can Tingbu Zhu."
Students laugh.
After the laughter stopped, the teacher sternly said: "Remember this day bar, which I was the only time you put it Yakouwuyan. Is that the heroes who�0�3 "
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
A：Hello!
B:What is your name?
A:My name is A.
B:Oh,that sounds good.
1、 I：Good morning ,everyone! My name is Lily , I’m honored for this interview .
B: Good morning ,let’s calm down then we ‘ll start our question . Why are you interested in working for our company?
I：Because your operations are global, so I feel I can gain the most from working in this kind of environment.
B: Why did you leave your former company?
I: Because I want to change my working environment, I'd like to find a job which is more challenging.
B: Have you done any work in this field?I：Yes ,my major is on it .
B: What are your geart strenghs?
I: I'm a hard-working, persistent person.B: What's you major weak point?
I: I haven't been involved in international business, so I don't have any experience,but I have enough confidence for the challenge!
B: In what specific ways will our company benefit form hiring you?
I: I'm very familiar with this market and have many customers. I think your company will benefit from it.
B：OK, If we hire you ,we’ll give you a call . I:Ok ,I'll wait for it !
2、 A：Hello ,Kate!
B:Hello.Lily .
A: You look upset ,I heared you have a blind date this morning. How about it ?B: Nothing could be worse than it.It’ s boring . A: Oh ,It’s the boy disgusting or what? B: He is ugly, uneducated and impolite.
A: He must terribly treat you , what does your conclusion come from?
B: He critised my clothing andmy hairstyle.He also said I should lose my weight. A: Oh ,what an annoying boy ,He shouldn't be so impolite . B: Not only for this ,he is mean and he haven’ t pay the bill yet .
A: Oh, you have a bad luck today , but do not mind ,you ‘ll never meet him again! B: Be sure of that ,as well as the blind date !
A: Don’t be so discouraged , You fortune will come some day ,and you ‘ll find yourMr Right ! B:I hope so !
A: Oh ,it’s time for me to go for a meet .see you ! B:See you !
3、 J:Hi, Jack ,it ‘s a loog tiome to see you ,how about you these days?
L:Not bad ,how are you ?
J: Fine ,Could you give me some information about the housing prices in beijingL:You are asking the right person .My colleague bought a house in beijing last month. J: Where did he buy his house ? L:In shijingshan district . J: How much is it?
L: 20,000yuan per square meter
:It’s too expensive .It is beyond my capacity.
L:It’s almost the lowest prices in beijing ,for shijingshan district is in the fifth round in beiing . J: I heared that the government have taken measures to control the rising housing prices, it’s still so high!
L: Though these measures have a little function ,we can not have enough money to buy a house in beijing !
J: I have to wait for some time for the decrease of the housing .
L: You can buy a house in some smaller city which prices is much lower . J: But my careeris in beijing and I like this city .Thanks for your advice . L: That ‘s my pleasure ! J:See you later !
L: See you !
4 S：Hello.Mr Smith T:Hi ,Lily.
S: I wonder if you have time this weekend . T: Nothing special .What’s up ?
S: This weekend is the spring festival. Would you like to celebrate it with my familytogether? T: I’d love to .You know I ‘m facinated with Chinese tradition .
S: Yeap . Spring festival is the most important holiday for chinese which every family will be well prepared for it .
T: Just like our Christmas Day.
S:Yes ,but the way of celebratin is different including the food .we’ll sreve you the dumlings . T: That’s great .I like it very much .It’s very delicious. S: We will also let off fireworks to express our hapiness.
T:Oh it’s wonderful , I think I will have a greattime this weekend .what time will we begin ? S: At seven o’clock in our house . I’ll you take you that time .
T:Thanks a lot .Oh, I remember that I have an important date now ,I must go now .See you then ! S: See you ! 5.Q:Excuse meA: yes?
Q: Could you tell me how to get to the bird’s nest ? I’m a stranger here.
A: Sure ,take line 1 subway ,then transfer it at fuxingmen station ,then take line 2 ,and get off at andingmen station .Then you’ll change the bus 407, and stop at aotiximen bus atation ,you’ll see it .
Q: Line 1 ,and line 2 ,then bus 407 . I’m afraid I will forget it soon . A: Maybe ,but it’s the simplest and shortest way there.
Q: OK, I have got a piece of paper ,I can write the way on it .Could you tell me again ?
A: Sure , take line 1 subway ,then transfer it at fuxingmen station ,then take line 2 ,and get off at andingmen station .Then you’ll change the bus 407, and stop at aotiximen bus atation ,you’ll see it.
Q: How long will it take ?A: About one hour .Q:Thanks a lot .but where is the subway entrance? A: Hmm, go down this street then turn left at the first turning , the logo of the entrance is marked. Q: Oh ,good ,well ,thank you very much . A: Not at all.
以上就是两人英语搞笑对话的全部内容，男: This seat empty?（这个座位是空的吧？）女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下。
