英语笑话演讲？"dear saint,please,please,pleaselet me win the lottery".Finally,the exasperated statue comes to lifeand looks down at the begging man and says:"My dear son,please,please,plaese buy a ticket！"中文：意大利有一个和好笑的老笑话，那么，英语笑话演讲？一起来了解一下吧。
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
一位列车员正要发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher,
finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual
question period.
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't
figger out."
"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the
Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Er--right."
"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children
of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz
always doin' somethin' important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your
question?"
"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all
the grown-ups doin?"
一个口音很重的县长到村里作报告：「兔子们，虾米们，猪尾巴！不要酱瓜，咸菜太贵啦！！」
(翻译：同志们，乡民们，注意吧！不要讲话，现在开会啦！！)
县长讲完以后，主持人说：「咸菜请香肠酱瓜！」
（翻译：现在请乡长讲话！）
乡长说：「兔子们，今天的饭狗吃了，大家都是大王八！」
（翻译：同志们，今天的饭够吃了，大家都是大碗吧！）
不要酱瓜，我捡个狗屎给你们舔舔．．．
（翻译：不要讲话，我讲个故事给你们听听．．）
好孩子
小罗伯特向他妈妈要了两美分。他妈妈问他：“昨天我给你的钱你干什么去啦！”
小罗伯特回答说：“我把它给了一位穷老人。”
“你真是个善良的孩子”妈妈自豪的说。“再给你两美分，但是你要告诉我你为什么会这么关注这个老人呢！”
罗伯特回答：“因为她正是那个卖糖果的！”
以上就是英语笑话演讲的全部内容，Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！内容来源于互联网，信息真伪需自行辨别。如有侵权请联系删除。
