英语冷笑话短？笑话一：Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."在期末考试前，汤姆告诉他妈妈：“妈妈，我昨晚做了个梦，梦见我今天考试及格了。那么，英语冷笑话短？一起来了解一下吧。
white man：are you Black?
black man：no,i'm White。
白人：你是布莱克吗？（BLACK是姓叶有黑人的意思）
黑人：不，我是怀特（WHITE是姓也有白人的意思）
希望你能满意
英语冷笑话谐音梗如下：
1、What do you call a deer with no eye?
(没有眼睛的鹿 是什么鹿)
No eye deer (No idea).
无眼鹿（不知道）
2、What did a late tomato say to other tomatoes?
(一个迟到的番茄会对其他的番茄说什么)
I will ketchup (catch up).
(我能赶上)(ketchup 番茄酱)
3、What do you call a bee from America?
(来自美国的蜜蜂叫什么)
A USB (US bee).
4、Which is faster, hot or cold?
(冷和热，哪个更快)
Hot. Because you can catch a cold.
(热更快，因为你能追上冷/会感冒 catch a cold）
5、What did my dog say when I asked him the answer for two minus two?
(当我问我家的狗2减2等于多少，他说了什么)
He said nothing.
(他什么也没说 / 他说什么也没有)
以下是整理的英语冷笑话6则（带翻译），这些冷笑话一般都超出常规思维，不符合逻辑和生活实际。虽然挺好玩的，但无论怎样，这种笑话不是那种一听就会开怀大笑的正常笑话，但你可以和我一起一边看笑话一边学习。
1. The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat, it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候
老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？
马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生！从那儿运来的肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
2. My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头
老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了？
凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex. So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.
"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say `baloney` it means push harder, and when I say `pastrami` it means push slower."
With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, "baloney,baloney,baloney" then shouts "pastrami,pastrami,pastrami" and then back to "baloney,baloney,baloney"
Finally, the girls sister says "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there, you`re getting mayonaise all over me!"有这个家伙来往,这个姑娘,他们想要做爱。
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
9、 Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
29、 Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
希望您能采纳。
以上就是英语冷笑话短的全部内容，1. The Climate of New Zealand Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?Matthew: Very Cold, sir.Teacher: Wrong.Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat, it always arrives frozen!新西兰的气候 老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。老师：错了。内容来源于互联网，信息真伪需自行辨别。如有侵权请联系删除。
