幽默的英语演讲开头？1.Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校---慢行".2. Do You Know My Work？One night a hotel caught fire，那么，幽默的英语演讲开头？一起来了解一下吧。
如果是和自己的同学(比较随意的）(当场面比较混乱时）HI, everybodyplease.Iknowit'sgoingtobe toughO(∩_∩)O~ .butatleastshowsomerespectO(∩_∩)O~ anybodywholistencarefullywillgetakiss afterclass.OFCOURSE!FROMme. (EASY EASY!)OK -------thenlet'sbegin!
allright.thanksallof youguys.you'rereallynice!
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher say's“Why are you arguing?”
One boy answer,“We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest
lie.”
“You should be ashamed of yourselves said the teacher,“When l was your age l didn't even know what a lie was.”
the boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
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1.
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
2. Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
Ladies and Gentlemen , Good afternoon! I’m very glad to stand here and give you a short speech. today my topic is “youth”. I hope you will like it , and found the importance in your youth so that more cherish it. First I want to ask you some questions: 1、Do you know what is youth? 2、How do you master your youth? Youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind ; it is not rosy cheeks , red lips and supple knees, it is a matter of the emotions : it is the freshness ; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life . Youth means a temperamental divdominance of courage over timidity of the appetite , for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of 60 more than a boy of20 . Nobody grows old merely by a number ofyears . We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years wrinkle the skin , but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul . Worry , fear , self -distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust . Whether 60 of 16 , there is in every human being ‘s heart the lure of wonders, the unfailing childlike appetite of what’s next and the joy of the game of living . In the center of your heart and my heart there’s a wireless station : so long as it receives messages of beauty , hope ,cheer, courag先生们，下午好！我很高兴站在这里给你一个简短的发言。
A Boy and His Tree
A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow… He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.
Time went by…The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree.
One day, the boy came back to the tree and looked sad. “Come and play with me,” the tree asked the boy.
“I am no longer a kid, I don’t play around trees anymore.” The boy replied, “I want toys. I need money to buy them.” “Sorry, but I don’t have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He picked all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy didn’t come back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.
One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. “Come and play with me.” The tree said. “I don’t have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?” “Sorry, but I don’t have a house. But you can cut off my branches to build your house.” So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.
The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy didn’t appear since then. The tree was again lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said.
“I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?” “Use my trunk to build the boat. You can sail and be happy.” So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and did not show up for a long time.
Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I don’t have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you.” the tree said. “ I don’t have teeth to bite.” The boy replied. “ No more trunk for you to climb on.” “I am too old for that now.” the boy said. “I really want to give you something…the only thing left is my dying roots.” The tree said with tears. “I don’t need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years.” The boy replied. “Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest. Come here, please sit down with me and have a rest.” The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears…
This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad… When we grow up, we leave them, and only come to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they could to make you happy. You may think that the boy is cruel to the tree but that's how all of us are treating our parents.
很久以前有一棵苹果树。
以上就是幽默的英语演讲开头的全部内容，开头呢一般是：Ladies and genltemen , good afternoon ,today I am really very glad to stand here to share my opinion(speech) with you all here结尾当然简单爽朗点好：That's all ,thank you for your listening !英语演讲的开头、结尾固然重要，可是表现出从容不迫的态度，内容来源于互联网，信息真伪需自行辨别。如有侵权请联系删除。
